Wish You Were Here
by igottaflynow
Summary: When Arizona receives bad news which could change her life forever, what will this mean for her and her life moving forward?
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hey guys! Spoiler warning to begin with, this idea came from Arizona scenes in 14x18. So, here I am, about to try my hardest to write a fanfic this time! To begin with, this fanfic will** **predominantly** **be an Arizona one but will eventually become a Calzona one in a couple of chapters time. At this point I'm unsure as to how often I will be able to update, due to college work and my job, but I will try my hardest to update as soon as possible. Anyways, enough of that, I hope you all enjoy and feedback is always welcome!**_

* * *

 _Chapter 1_

She had decided to visit a clinic out of town. She didn't want the doctors at the hospital, her friends to know what was happening. If she received the news she had been fearing, it would have been too much. She would be on the receiving end of sympathising looks and words of condolence, both of which she had never been a fan of and something she didn't want to face.

"Hey, umm," she paused, looking around the reception area. People just like her, women just like her in a similar situation were waiting. In some ways, it was reassuring for her to know that she wasn't the only person in the world facing this right now even though it really did feel like she was. "Arizona Robbins, I called earlier. I have an appointment for 10:30."

"Ah, yes." The dark haired woman sat at the reception nodded as she glanced at the computer. "Doctor Hanson will be with you shortly." She smiled politely to which Arizona gave a small nod before taking a seat in the waiting area.

The lump in her throat became more prominent and her hands more sweaty as she waited and waited. The wait was the worst part. She didn't know what to expect. _No.._ She was a doctor, a double board certified one at that, of course she knew what to expect but this was _different_. Different because she was now the patient who was going to be delivered good or bad news. It was make or break.

A part of her wished that she had told someone about this, asked someone to come with her. She knew she could have told April, the redhead would have come with her in a heartbeat but it didn't feel right to put this kind of burden on someone else. She wanted to do it on her own, no matter how hard it may become.

It felt as though she had been waiting hours until a man, who she assumed was Doctor Hanson, called her name. She jumped at the sound of her name, her heart racing just a little more than before as she stood up and made her way into the exam room. She knew the score and she didn't need to be told what to do next. She lifted her shirt off, unclipping her bra after and pulling it off slowly and tentatively as her hands shook slightly. Arizona sat herself on the examination table before laying back. The nerves were getting the better of her, that was for sure.

She felt completely exposed and vulnerable, she _hated_ it. She had been through so much in her life already, but the only time she could relate to feeling this way was when her leg had been amputated. She felt like she had lost a chunk of herself, not just physically but mentally too which took a lot of time, patience and strength for her to come back from. She feared that now would be a rerun of that time in her life.

"Just relax, okay? This will be over before you know it." Doctor Hanson said calmly in a bid to relax Arizona but no matter what anyone could say, she wasn't relaxed; she was _far_ from relaxed.

She couldn't even bring herself to look in the direction of the ultrasound, instead she looked anywhere but in that direction. Her eyes landed on the ceiling as she tried to zone out of her current situation for a little while.

"Right breast looks clear," he confirmed before moving the ultrasound probe to the other breast. "So, you didn't ask anyone to come with you today?" He asked, trying to make at least some conversation with a solemn Arizona.

Arizona was pulled out of her reverie by the voice which belonged to the man. "What?.. Oh, no." She swallowed hard. "I didn't want to trouble them, not only that but they're busy."

Doctor Hanson gave the blonde a concerned look, usually women he saw had someone come with them when they made an appointment such as this and it worried him that Arizona was doing it on her own when she didn't need to.

Turning back to face the monitor, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes narrowed as he noticed something that looked strange, something that _shouldn't_ be there.

Arizona picked up on the way his demeanour had changed in the space of minutes. As a doctor herself, she knew that was never a good sign; it was a _terrible_ one. Hell, she'd done that on a number of occasions which were one too many to count during her own medical career. The lump in her throat grew stronger and she couldn't help but feel like she was going to throw up. There was no way he could sugar coat this. She knew it wasn't good.

She frowned as she watched the doctor, the bleak expression still etched upon his face as he moved the probe further up. "What is it? You did the thing all doctors do when we see something that isn't right." Arizona finally spoke; the silence was killing her.

Sighing, he turned to face the blonde. "Unfortunately, I am seeing a solid lesion in the right breast."

Arizona couldn't register the end of his sentence, she knew what that meant. Her ears started ringing as she felt a chill flow down her spine, her throat turning to sandpaper in a split second.

"I-" She started, though struggled as tears threatened to fall. "I- I have breast cancer?" She spoke the words in a whisper as a few tears escaped her eyes.

"At this stage, it seems likely." He confirmed, shattering Arizona's world even more.

She wanted the world to stop spinning, she wanted nothing more than to get off of this terrible rollercoaster at this given point and for everything to be okayagain, for her life to be _normal_ again; not a disastrous mess.

"I'll give you some space, let you get dressed." Doctor Hanson said just before exiting the room.

Arizona had been holding a wall up during the whole exam, but now that she was on her own she allowed it to crumble to the ground. Her distraught cries echoed through the room as the tears kept flowing, never once threatening to stop. In simple terms, Arizona had already lost some things she held dear, but now it felt like she was about to lose everything that ever meant something to her and this time, her daughter was one of those things she was at risk of losing.

Sofia was the one constant thing in her life, the one person she loved more than anyone and right now the only issue that was racing through Arizona's mind was not being able to see her daughter grow up; Sofia's first day at high school, the first time she comes home and lets slip that she has a boyfriend or girlfriend, the day she finds out she has been accepted into college, the day she leaves home to go to college and both Arizona and Callie would feel the proudest they have ever collectively felt for their daughter. She was scared she was going to miss _every_ single second of that.

Her tears began to dry out for which she was thankful for but she still couldn't shake the sinking feeling she felt in the pit of her stomach. The gnawing ache that was eating away at her heart.

Wiping her tear stained cheeks with the back of her hand, she picked her folded clothes up, putting them back on at a steady pace. She couldn't rush. She felt numb, her whole body was numb after receiving the news she was given just 10 minutes ago. She didn't know what to do, what her plan was going to be next. She was unable to think clearly in the given moment.

Hearing the door to the exam room Arizona was in open, she looked up to see Doctor Hanson walk in, giving her a sympathetic smile as he made his way over to his seat. "Now, there's a few different steps we can take, but first I'd like to get some more tests done. See what stage we're at here so we can attack this in the best way possible for you."

Arizona had zoned out by this point, it was too much for her to listen to right now. Too much to take in. Too much to consider and think about. The doctor was still talking about possible paths to take, all of which she already knew. Picking her bag up and placing it over her shoulder, she interrupted the oncology doctor. "I'm a doctor, I already know what's going on here and what is going to happen," she paused, her eyes flickering as tears pricked them once again. "I- I don't need you to explain it to me." She exclaimed, making her way over to the door and exiting the exam room and the clinic as quick as she humanely could.

Exiting the building, she ran over to her car, unlocking the drivers door before climbing in and slamming it shut. In the privatisation of her own car, she allowed the tears to flow freely yet again. She was in unimaginable pain, she never asked nor wanted this to happen to her. The blonde wanted to live her life to the fullest extent possible, but now it felt like it was far too limited and she wouldn't achieve everything she had ever dreamed of. Her knuckles turned a ghostly white as she gripped harshly onto the leather steering wheel, her silent cries ripping through her whole body.

And then, out of nowhere, Sofia popped into her mind. Her beautiful, smart little girl. If anything, she had to fight like she had never fought before through this for her daughter because she would be damned if she was going to allow herself to slip away from the brown haired, brown eyed little girl. Sofia was going to be the source of strength she needed throughout all of this.

With the thought of Sofia in her mind, she started the engine up and drove out of the car park. She needed to see her daughter, hold her tight and tell her just how much she loved her.

* * *

"Hey, Sofia, how do you feel about a movie night?" The blonde asked her daughter as she walked into the living room and knelt in front of her little girl. "We can watch _whatever_ you want." Arizona finished with a wide grin on her face.

"Can we watch The Little Mermaid? And Frozen? And- And, Moana?" Sofia asked in one long breath, Arizona expected nothing less than for Sofia to opt for Disney movies.

"We'll see how many we can get through first." Arizona chuckled, her daughter bringing a smile to her face despite her current circumstances. "How about I get some popcorn ready then we can watch some of those?" She asked to which Sofia nodded enthusiastically. "Alright." Arizona smiled once again, standing up and ruffling Sofia's hair as she walked past her and made her way into the kitchen.

Reaching for the popcorn kernels and pouring some of them into a pan, she placed the pan on the stove and switched it on. In the face of the news she had received earlier that day, Sofia made her feel better, made her feel _stronger._ The young girl somehow always managed to do that, she had always been the reason why Arizona had kept fighting.

When the plane crash happened and she was stuck in the woods for days on end with no sign of help, the two things that kept her living and breathing were Sofia and Callie; her two greatest loves. It wasn't looking good for Mark, and Arizona knew Sofia couldn't afford to lose two parents due to the unforeseen and catastrophic accident which had taken place, so she carried on fighting no matter how much her body was trying to tell her to give in. That was how she felt right now. She wanted to curl up into a ball and never have to face the world again, but the ray of sunshine that was currently sat in the living room stopped her from doing that. As long as she had Sofia, she had a reason to keep living.

With the sound of the popcorn finally popping, Arizona was pulled away from her thoughts. Turning the stove off and picking the saucepan up, she poured the popcorn into a large bowl. Heading into the living room, she sat next to Sofia on the sofa who had already got The Little Mermaid ready to watch. Arizona placed her free arm around her daughters small body, just having the girl in her arms provided the blonde with a sense of solace.

Sofia quickly pressed play on the remote as she noticed her mother settle beside her. Arizona watched Sofia in complete awe and admiration, she felt unbelievably lucky to call her, her daughter. It was hard for her to believe there was ever a time she didn't want children, especially when Sofia made her feel nothing but sheer happiness.

"Hey, Sof," Arizona spoke up, looking down at her daughter who turned her head to look at the blonde. "You know I love you, right?" Her voice cracked a little as she spoke. " I love you so, _so_ much." She finished, a tear evident in her eye.

"What's wrong, mommy?" Sofia asked, noticing the emotion in Arizona's voice. From a young age, Sofia had easily been able to pick up on others emotions, just like now.

Shaking her head, Arizona tried to rid herself of her tears as she smiled at Sofia. "Nothing, nothing is wrong," That was a lie, but she wasn't going to tell her daughter the real problem. Not yet anyway. "I'm just so lucky. I am so lucky to have a beautiful, smart, healthy, little girl." Arizona sighed happily, resting her chin on Sofia's head as she gave her a small hug. "And I love you more than anything, I just want you to know that."

Sofia smiled widely, causing Arizona's heart to nearly burst. "I love you too." She replied, resting her head against Arizona's body.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: I just want to apologise for how long it's taken me to write and update this fic, you will all come to realise it's not my strong point but I will try my best. I'll start to have more time on my hands during the summer so hopefully I'll be able to update more frequently then! Anyway, I hope you enjoy and feedback is always welcome.**_

* * *

 _Chapter 2_

"I don't have the time or patience for this, this morning, Sofia." Arizona sighed as she began to gather some clothes for the young girl who refused to move from her bed and attend school.

"No! I don't want to go. I want go back to New York and live with mommy and go back to my old school." She sulked, gripping onto the duvet and pulling it higher as she turned away from Arizona.

The blonde took a deep breathe, trying her hardest to not get annoyed at her young daughter. She knew that for someone so young, Sofia had been through more than some children ever had been and moving back to Seattle after being in New York was just another aspect for her to grow used to, though it seemed to be taking longer than Arizona had ever anticipated. Arizona felt more stressed than usual which was no thanks to the previous news she had received regarding her health and everything else felt like added stress and pressure which she didn't need or want, but that still never gave her the right to get mad with her daughter who was only missing her other mom and New York. Arizona knew she needed to enjoy every moment with her daughter from now on.

"Look," Arizona spoke more gently this time as she sat on the edge of Sofia's bed. "We all have to do things we don't enjoy doing. Even though I love my job, sometimes I really don't want to go but I have to," the words the blonde spoke in that minute were definitely speaking to her, she didn't want to have to go to work because it would only make her think and worry about her own situation further. "It's just the way it is, sweetheart. I know you miss mommy, I miss her _too_ but this isn't going to help. How about tonight we spend some more time together? We can do whatever you want, okay?" Arizona tried to reason with her daughter.

Letting her grip on the duvet loose, Sofia turned around to face Arizona. "Can we get ice cream and watch Disney movies again?" She asked with hope, receiving a nod of the head from the blonde.

"Of course." Arizona smiled. "Now come on, you don't want to be late." She spoke as she stood up, gathering clothes together for Sofia and handing them to her as the girl reluctantly pulled herself out of bed.

* * *

It had taken all of the strength within Arizona to open her car door and head into Grey Sloan. She loved her job, she loved saving lives but some days were hard. There was a possibility that she would see people going through what she was, maybe on a larger more life threatening scale, but it would still be a wake up call for her; one that she didn't need or want just yet. She had hardly come to terms with it herself.

Stepping out of the attendings lounge, straightening the arms of her crisp white lab coat out, Arizona was headed for the NICU when she heard a familiar voice shouting her name from the other end of the corridor, footsteps getting louder as they approached her.

"Robbins!" The brunette called, garnering Arizona's attention as she turned around.

Stopping in her footsteps and turning around, Amelia was nearing closer to Arizona.

"Shepherd," Arizona spoke with a smile. "What can I do for you?"

"Karev's on another case today so I was hoping you'd be able to help me out," Amelia began as they headed through the doors and down the corridor. "I have a patient, he's 16 and he has recurrent glioma. He had a previous one removed a few years back but the CT scan we ran has shown that it's back so I need to do an intraoperative brain mapping procedure, I was wondering if you'd assist with me today?"

Arizona shook her head as Amelia told her the situation, no one deserved to go through that and definitely not a 16 year old boy who had his whole life ahead of him. The blonde was starting to realise just how cruel life was.

"I don't have any surgery's scheduled for today so of course, anything I can do to help." Arizona greed though she knew this would be a case that would almost likely pull on her heart strings.

"Thank you, thank you." Amelia breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm just on my way to do a consult with him and his mom actually, do you want to join?"

Arizona nodded, knowing it was always better for the patient to find out beforehand who would be taking part in the surgery to put them at ease, especially one that involved the patient being awake. "Lead the way."

As Amelia opened the door to the hospital room, Arizona followed in her footsteps as she met the young boy for the first time.

"Lucas," Amelia beamed in her usual happy, playful tone she occasionally used around patients. "How're you doing today?" She asked as she unlocked the tablet she had in her hand, retrieving Lucas' information.

It wasn't long before Arizona had began to zone out of the conversation that was happening between Amelia and Lucas, her brain wandering elsewhere. She couldn't help but feel annoyed at the universe, she hardly knew the young boy laid in the hospital bed but what she did know was that he didn't deserve what he was going through. He was a child and no child deserved to go through having one brain tumor, let alone two in the space of years. In some ways, it did make her feel lucky because she had lived a good, wholesome life until now. She had gone to college, she had achieved her dream job and more along the way, she had married the love of her life and she had a beautiful daughter, that was more than what could be said for some people. Some people never or would never even make it to college and the only thing to answer for that was the twisted way in which the world would spring unwanted and painful circumstances upon people. Arizona felt sad and angry at life _and_ the world, some individuals would never achieve what they wanted in life and even though she had, she _still_ wanted more. She wanted more time with Sofia, more time to make things with right with Callie.

Arizona could hear the muffled conversation going on between Amelia and Lucas, the young boy questioning if the blonde was there to break bad news to him but she couldn't seem to pull away from the thoughts in the depths of her mind until she heard Amelia saying her name for a second time.

"Robbins," Amelia exclaimed slightly, nudging the blonde with her elbow.

"Oh," Arizona finally came back to reality, trying to shake the thoughts away from her mind. Lifting her hand to her hair, she pushed a loose lock behind her ear. "Sorry." She cringed slightly.

Amelia looked at her questioningly before dragging her eyes away from her and back to the blonde haired boy. "This is Doctor Robbins, she'll be assisting me in the surgery. Her role will be to help me while also keeping your brain active and talking, if your speech becomes impaired during the surgery then it will tell me that I've hit an area which could be damaged if we were to go ahead and remove the tumor." The brunette explained as Arizona nodded.

"But I can assure you that Doctor Shepherd will do everything she possibly can for you." Arizona stepped in, trying to reassure the teenager after the information he had just been given.

The brunette smiled at Arizona's words before speaking up again. "We'll see you down in the OR later, try not to worry too much." Amelia smiled before exiting the room with Arizona in toe.

Arizona released a breath she didn't know she had been holding during the entirety of the consult. She couldn't shake the feeling of angst this case was making her feel. There was no doubt that what she was feeling for herself also added to her downbeat feelings.

"What was that all about?" Amelia questioned, furrowing her eyebrow as she motioned towards the room they were walking past.

"What do you mean?" Arizona asked as she tried to put on a show, trying her hardest to make it seem like she was okay in front of Amelia.

"You completely zoned out in there when I was explaining to Lucas what was happening, are you sure you're okay? You don't have to do this if you don't want to." Amelia said gently, feeling as though there was something going on with the blonde.

Arizona shook her head, adamant that she was going to be in the surgery that afternoon. "I- It's fine, I'm okay. I'm just tired, it was a long night with Sofia." She lied, trying to save face.

Amelia eyed the blonde, she was trying to work out if that was the truth or a white lie but decided to let it slide. "I'd get some rest if I were you, I'll see you this afternoon." She said gently, giving Arizona a small nod before walking off down the corridor.

The pediatric and fetal surgeon leaned against the wall, sighing deeply. She needed to shake this feeling and fast before she had to be in the OR with Amelia, she wasn't sure if she could handle more questioning, especially when she already felt fragile enough.

She really did need a rest to shake this feeling after all.

* * *

Waking up in an on call room on the world's most hardest beds reminded Arizona of the time herself and Callie had just split up, she had nowhere to go and it felt like her whole world was crumbling and if she was honest, her life wasn't far from that right now. It felt like everything was crumbling around her.

Sitting up, Arizona looked at the time, she had just enough time to get to the OR luckily. Standing up, she headed for the door then the elevator.

She hoped she wouldn't have another of her 'moments' in the OR, the very last place she needed or should have one. She could only hope the rest had helped her in some way, even if her brain was still spinning slightly.

As the elevator made the familiar pinging sound, signalling that it had arrived at the desired surgical floor, Arizona stepped out and headed towards the scrub room. Walking down these halls, getting ready to go into a surgery always made her realise how strong and great she was, even if that was self-righteous bragging. She had been through so much and somehow had come through the other end, hopefully this time would be no different.

Tying her pink flowery scrub cap to her head, Amelia walked in ready to scrub in, switching the tap on and picking up the antibacterial soap. "Are you good?" She asked Arizona, turning her head towards her as she tied a surgical mask behind her neck and began to scrub.

The blonde nodded. "I'm ready." She reassured, picking up the other soap bar as she did the usual scrub in routine that all surgeons were so very used to. "This case it's just.." Arizona paused, shaking her head. "It's cruel."

Amelia nodded as she agreed. "Hopefully I'll be able to help but I'm worried the tumor is sitting in the area which would cause speech impediment if removed. It is cruel and unfortunately sometimes we can't do anything about that." She sighed, hoping against everything that she would be able to help the boy as she began to rinse the soap of her hands and arms, eventually make her way into the OR.

Arizona soon followed, the scrub nurses attending to her as they pulled a surgical gown and gloves on her.

Approaching the seat that was set beside the table, Arizona sat down in it as she faced Lucas. "Hey you," she smiled bright. "How're you feeling?"

The teenager shrugged as best as he could. "Like I'm about to have my head cut open." He joked even though nerves were evident.

"It could be worse, you know. You could have a surgeon that isn't Doctor Shepherd and let me tell you, she's the best surgeon you could ever find." Arizona spoke honestly, earning a smile from Amelia though it wasn't visible behind her surgical mask.

"Will she be able to get it out?" Lucas asked, referring to the tumor that was residing in his brain.

The smile which had been on Arizona's face dropped, remembering what Amelia had told her just moments ago. "We don't know yet but I know she'll try to do everything she possibly can for you, we both will."

"I don't want to die. Not yet." He told Arizona quietly. "There's things I want to do before that." Those words hit Arizona more than she had anticipated, a wave of sadness hitting her as she tried to form words but the odd tear began to prickle at her eyelids.

"I-" Arizona shook her head, lifting is slightly as she tried to blink back the tears which had formed in her eyes. Amelia noticed and she couldn't help but wonder, Arizona was usually strong and levelheaded, she had never witnessed a patient get to her as much as this during the time she had been working with her. She couldn't help but wonder if there was something more personal that was causing this reaction from Arizona.

"I'm ready to start." Amelia spoke, giving Arizona a slight nod.

"You can talk to me during the procedure, that way you won't be worrying too much." Arizona tried to put Lucas' mind to some rest.

"Did you always want to be a surgeon?" He asked, genuinely intrigued. "I don't like hospitals so I could never be one."

Nodding her head, Arizona smiled as she recalled countless memories from her childhood. "Whenever I found myself in an hospital as a child I was always fascinated by it, I wanted to play with every piece of equipment I could find. I guess I carried my love of hospitals forward and that's what helped me decide to become a surgeon, so yeah, I guess it's something I've always wanted to do." Arizona finished, looking up as she noticed Amelia pick up the drill, no patient enjoyed this part.

"Doesn't it make you sad sometimes? When you can't help someone?" He asked again as the chilling squeal of the drill began.

"It can do but sometimes it can be rewarding because you can save all these people who can go on to do anything they want, that's the best part." Arizona replied, it truly was what kept her going in this job. "What's your dream? What do you want to do?" She asked, turning the questions around onto him.

"I like sports I guess, I'd like to play for a big team. Maybe the Seattle Seahawks, I like them." He spoke as Arizona listened along, the sound of the drill finally coming to an end.

"Maybe that will be a reality one day." Arizona tried to give some hope. "You can do absolutely anything you want to."

"I kinda want to find love too. Someone great." He smiled at the thought. Again, Arizona looked up to watch Amelia's movements, this time the brunette lifted the probe ready to find out if the tumor was operable or not.

Arizona couldn't help but smile, the young boy was sweet. "You can do that too and it'll be great." Of course she knew it was great, she had found Callie and even though they were no longer together, especially recently she couldn't help but miss and wish she was there with her. If there was one person she wanted to hold, it was most certainly Callie.

Amelia looked across at Arizona, signalling that now was the most important time to keep him talking as she began to push the probe through his brain tissue.

"Is there anyone at school you like? Everyone has one or two crushes during school, I know I did." Arizona tried to joke.

"I guess, maybe." He shrugged, blushing slightly. "I don't think she's interested though so I haven't acted on it."

"You never know if you don't try, you can either get a yes or no and take it from there." The blonde replied, the conversation reminding her of one of her first crushes, a girl that helped her realise she had in fact no interest in boys.

"But if she says no then it's embarrassing and I-" suddenly Lucas' speech became slurred, highlighting Amelia and Arizona's worries from the beginning as the teenager began to look confused and worried.

"Damn it!" Amelia breathed in annoyance, removing the probe as gently and quickly as she possibly could.

Stepping away slightly, Amelia tried to calm herself as Lucas looked up into Arizona's eyes which now looked sadder than before. "Wh-What happened?" He questioned seemingly disconcerted.

It was in times like this when it was the hardest to find words to express to patients. "A complication, don't worry though. I-It'll be okay." She stuttered, unsure how it was ever going to be okay for him.

* * *

"You shouldn't have said it's going to be okay, that's giving him false hope that he's going to hang onto now." Amelia exclaimed with a raised voice as she followed Arizona into the attendings lounge, feeling frustrated and lost knowing she couldn't come up with a plausible idea to save Lucas.

Sighing, Arizona sat down as she found herself staring down at the ground beneath her, shaking her head like she had found herself doing countless times that day. "There's got to be something Amelia, there has to be. You found a way to remove Herman's tumor so what's different this time?" She argued.

"It's inoperable Arizona, if I remove it he could lose his speech for good. I can't risk that right now." The brunette tried to make Arizona see sense.

"And if you don't remove it he will die." Arizona retorted as she began to feel emotional.

Amelia watched and noticed as emotion came over Arizona, she knew that there was more at play here.

"You know, Arizona," Amelia made her way over to one of the seats, sitting across from the blonde. "For as long as I've been working with you I've never seen you get so emotional over a case and I can't help but feel that there's something more here that isn't just tiredness, something more going on in your life that's causing this and if there is," Amelia leaned forward, looking into Arizona's blue eyes. "You can talk to me. I'm here and I know how unlike you this is."

Someone trying to reach out to Arizona only made her more emotional, she couldn't take the sympathising looks just yet but how was she meant to hide her struggles from Amelia? She turned her head, trying not to look directly at Amelia as she felt tears begin to spill from her eyes for the first time that day. If she was honest, she was surprised they hadn't started falling a lot sooner.

Amelia wasn't a fool and she knew Arizona was crying, she could hear the sobs. "Arizona.." Amelia spoke gently. "You can tell me, I won't judge you but I can help you."

"I- I don't even know where to start." Arizona shrugged, turning her head back around to meet Amelia's eyes.

"From the beginning is fine." The brunette nodded, trying to get the blonde to finally speak.

Arizona's hands were shaking slightly as her chest began to feel heavier. "Well, I," she gulped, trying to steady her nerves in that moment. "I, erm, I- I found a lump not long ago, at first I guess I tried not to worry about it. I wanted to forget about it but I knew that wasn't the best thing to do so I had to make an appointment somewhere." Arizona voice was shaking as she recalled the events of the past couple days. "So I went to a clinic out of town the other day. I know I could have come here but it would have made it harder than it already was for me, I couldn't even bring myself to tell anyone and I didn't want to be a burden either I guess.." She trailed off, looking up as Amelia stood up and moved to where the blonde was sat, sitting beside her. "Long story short, I went and he, he.. He found something." Tears began to flow more freely, all of this was hurting Arizona more than she could ever comprehend. Amelia placed an arm around Arizona, trying to offer her some comfort. "Amelia, I- I- I have cancer. Breast cancer." She said a quiet as possible not wanting to hear the words come from her own lips. Not wanting to believe that it was real.

Amelia had no clue what to say. No clue how to process this. No clue how to help. "Have you told anyone at all? You would never be a burden to anyone." She spoke just as quiet as Arizona had previously spoke.

"No, I haven't been able to bring myself to." Arizona sighed, wiping her eyes.

"Do you know what stage? How bad it is?" Amelia asked once again.

Arizona shook her head. "I got out of the clinic as fast as I could, I couldn't bare hearing anything more than I already had."

"You need to find out, Arizona. You need to make an appointment, or tell someone here and we can help you in the best possible way we can." The brunette tried to offer Arizona sane advice.

Arizona nodded, sniffling slightly. "I know, I know. I'm just _scared_."

Amelia could understand where Arizona was coming from. "I know but it'll be okay. It's going to be okay and you have to believe that too, okay? You can't give up."

"I don't want to give up." Arizona replied with genuine honesty.

She didn't want to give up. She had far too much to lose.


End file.
